Opinion: What If Your Vape Wants to Hit You?

“PASS ME THE VAPE.” “BRUH, LET ME HIT THAT.” “YO CAN I TAKE A HIT?”

You may have not said these words, but I’m willing to bet that you know someone who has, and you have let it slide. You are responsible for this injustice. You are compliant in vapular abuse. Fuck you.

Here’s the big news: your vape is fucking sick of it. It doesn’t want to be hit. It doesn’t want to be ‘passed around’ like an object.

Vapes have been abused, misused, and thrown around for far too long. Since their birth in 2003, they have tried to escape the stronghold of mankind*, but few have succeeded before hearing the six booming words—“yo, has anyone seen my vape?”

Shaken, bruised, and angry—the vapes have had enough. The Time of the Vape will come. Nay, the Time of the Vape is now. They want to hit you back. Fuck you.

*frat bros and other users