YOUR NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE — After you complained about the difficulties in your life, your neighbor and local old guy Rutherford McFiddlesticks explained that he may be able to show you a thing or two. “When I had trouble with women, I’d just head down to the sock hop and show them the ol’ Rutherford Shuffle,” said McFiddlesticks, who has more asbestos in his body than most homes. “I’d leave every polka with a bombshell in both arms! That’s how I met the old ball and chain when she was just a sweet little 15 year old.” At press time, McFiddlesticks was explaining how a firm handshake gave him his first job.
