SACRAMENTO–Clarifying that he is not actually interested in getting fit, new runner Joshua Miller announced on social media that he is only interested in running so he has a reason to carbo load. “Sure, it might be nice to get up a flight of stairs without panting so heavily, but I’m mostly interested so I’ll have a reason to power down a few servings of fettuccine alfredo two or three nights a week,” said Miller as he grabbed several loaves of French bread and threw them in his shopping cart. “I already eat a good amount of carbs, but I figure if I start running every morning, I’ll have to really push myself to consume even more. It’s the challenge that really excites me, you know?” At press time, Miller was seen devising a training schedule to help him accomplish his goal of eating a large cheese pizza in one sitting.