FRESNO, CA — Third-year Human Biology Major and open lesbian Marcy Yee went home this holiday season without a man, to the utter shock of Grandmother Doris Yee who expected great-grandchildren by 2025. “She’s such a pretty girl, if she would just do something with that hair,” reported Mrs. Yee. “I always tell her to do something with her hair.” On average, lesbians do not have boyfriends, but Mrs. Yee sees “no problem” with merging the two concepts. “I had lots of lesbian friends in college, and all of them had boyfriends. I don’t see why the boys haven’t taken more of an interest in Marcy. She is such a pretty girl.” Offering a cup of tea, Mrs. Yee finished her lament by praising the closeness of Marcy and her best friend, Kiara, since womanly solidarity is important in navigating the harrows of the college dating scene.