TOLEDO, OH — Following the birthday celebration of 20-year old Ayah Zobi, all living organisms from protists to senior citizens across all 196 nations of the World reportedly turned tables on her and suddenly neglected her existence. “Sure we had to treat her nicely on her birthday, smile and stuff; that’s just part of social protocol. But after that, Ayah is a nobody. Just another speck in our Earth’s continuum,” said all residents of the world, as they scrolled through a list of tomorrow’s birthdays. “We don’t know what she wants from us. We post happy birthday on her Facebook wall every year without failure; yesterday, we even added a smiling emoji at the end to make it a little more special. But Jesus Christ, she’s suddenly expecting us to talk to her and like her posts? She’s getting too full of herself.” At press time, Zobi was reportedly seen licking leftover frosting from her finger, as she contemplates the deep existential reasons behind her sudden insignificance.
