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Articles by Your Professor

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Op-Ed: How ‘Bout Some Uncomfortable Small Talk As We Walk To Class?

April 30, 2017 Your Professor 0

Well, look at this. We happened to run into each other as we’re both walking to class! You know, the one that I teach and […]

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Op-Ed: I Am the Alpha and the Omega, I Am the Eternal by Adam Sandler

April 30, 2017 Adam Sandler 0

I’ve heard all the complaints a million times: “God, when will Adam Sandler stop making movies?,” “I just wish Sandler would go away. He’s not […]

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Op-Ed: Liberals, Stop Calling Your Fake News “Satire”

February 12, 2017 Concerned Conservative 0

With all the fake news circulating social media the past few months, some would say the blurred lines of fact and fiction have felt like […]

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Area Man Unsure If New Friend Republican

February 12, 2017 Isaac Williams 0

LOS ANGELES—Area man and local Democrat Charlie Cohen realized early Thursday that he was unsure if his new friend, Derek Wallace, was a Republican. “Some […]

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UCLA Sanitation to Powell Bathroom Patrons: “Just Go Hog Wild”

October 26, 2016 Isaac Williams 0

WESTWOOD — UCLA Sanitation told the patrons of the Powell Library restroom to “just go hog wild” in a letter posted Monday morning. “Our facilities […]

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Rieber Smell To Destabilize Region By 2020

February 14, 2016 Isaac Williams 0

WESTWOOD—The UCLA Political Science department released a report Wednesday indicating that unless drastic actions were taken, the smell emanating from between the Rieber and Holly […]

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Sasha Obama To Stand On Sister’s Shoulders, Run For President

February 14, 2016 Isaac Williams 0

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Sasha Obama announced in a statement Tuesday that she plans to run for President of the United States while perched on the shoulders of […]

Report: All Late Night Curly Fries Traced Back To Single “Mother Fry”

February 14, 2016 Isaac Williams 0

WESTWOOD—In a report issued by the UCLA Center for Sustenance Research, scientists have confirmed that all curly fries from De Neve Late Night are traceable […]

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Roommate Has Friend Over For Some Reason

February 14, 2016 Isaac Williams 0

WESTWOOD—Second-year physics student Trevor Barnes arrived at his dorm late Tuesday evening to discover that his roommate, Tom Bornstein, had a friend over for some […]

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Area Man Delays Job Search To Start Up Sad Little Webseries

January 24, 2016 Isaac Williams 0

LOS ANGELES–Twenty-three year old Sam Hunts announced via Facebook post Saturday afternoon that he plans to start up a pathetic web series. “Hey everyone, I […]

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