Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
WESTWOOD — This Friday, the UCLA Backpacking Club announced it will be taking its advanced group on the 15-mile trek from Gardenia to the Public […]
UCLA
Opinion: To Solve UCLA’s Financial Challenges, We Must Invest More Money Into Israel
Hey guys. Westwood Enabler opinion writer Oiluj Knerf here. I’m a UCLA student just like you! I love my friends, I love my classes, and […]
Opinion: I Will Not Apologize For My Phony Indie Stache
dear loyal followers, i address you today not by way of reselling my shart-stained 70s denim for $650 on grailed, or the carousel post of […]
Hedrick Hall Residents Commanded To Find Two Of Every Animal
WESTWOOD — Following flooding at Hedrick Hall this morning, residents have been commanded to find two of every animal through a divine email mandate from […]
UCLA Opens “B-ruining Lives” Resource Center For Student Anti-Wellbeing
WESTWOOD — To combat the unprofitable number of students who exhibit reasonable sleep schedules and a healthy work-life balance, the UCLA Copious Amounts of Pessimistic […]
Vampire Draws Line At Period Sex
WESTWOOD — Local bloodsucker and thousandth-year religion student Vlad Cullen was seen insisting to his suitors he was down for almost anything in the bedroom, […]
De Neve Oyster Night Ends As Expected
WESTWOOD — Last Tuesday night, what was supposed to be a celebratory evening with unlimited raw bivalves at the least refined dining hall ended in […]
Math Professor Doesn’t Know That Half Of Ten Weeks Is Five Weeks
WESTWOOD — This week, local math professor Dr. Ivil has come under fire after scheduling a midterm for Week 4, a week that is definitively […]
Ask The Enabler: Is It Too Late To Cancel My Den Pass Refund?
Dear Westwood Enabler, I bought a Den Pass to maximize my time at UCLA and to give my uncle yet another excuse to bet on […]
Consulting Clubs Consulted On What The Fuck They Actually Do
WESTWOOD — UCLA’s ten thousand consulting clubs recently came under fire when they were consulted on what their clubs really do besides pose for headshots […]