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Old Guy Can Show You A Thing Or Two

June 5, 2023 Georgia McNeill 0

YOUR NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE — After you complained about the difficulties in your life, your neighbor and local old guy Rutherford McFiddlesticks explained that he may […]

UCLA Frat Issues Notes App Apology for Alleged Serial Sexual Assault

May 31, 2022 Azalea Morris 0

WESTWOOD — On Monday, a UCLA Fraternity was cornered into finally addressing their countless sexual assault allegations. Their method of addressing this serious issue was […]

Only Man In Gender Studies Class Raises Hand

December 4, 2019 Jade Lacy 0

WESTWOOD — In last Tuesday’s Introduction to Gender Studies discussion, Brock Price, a 6-foot tall football player, frat brother, and the only man in the […]

  • Local Pizza Delivery Boy Shocked At Scantily-Clad Customer’s Lack of Money

    RANCHO MURIETA — A local pizza delivery boy faced a shock last night when he delivered to a scantily-clad woman who didn’t have the funds […]

  • UCPD Enlists California Highway Patrol to Boost Middling Police Violence Rates

    WESTWOOD — Following weeks of peace and safety on campus, UCPD has announced a partnership with the California Highway Patrol in an attempt to restore […]

  • Opinion: To Solve UCLA’s Financial Challenges, We Must Invest More Money Into Israel

    Hey guys. Westwood Enabler opinion writer Oiluj Knerf here. I’m a UCLA student just like you! I love my friends, I love my classes, and […]

  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME

    WESTWOOD — This past week, UCLA administration has bravely taken to the streets to protest the injustices committed by the “pesky” AFSCME labor union. “It’s […]

  • Winter Quarter Offers Every Goddamn Class But The Ones You Need For Your Degree

    WESTWOOD — UCLA recently announced a bold new plan to offer every single class for Winter 2026– except for the ones you need to graduate […]

Featured Authors

Grace McIntyre
  • UCLA Opens “B-ruining Lives” Resource Center For Student Anti-Wellbeing
  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You
  • A Letter To Prospective Student Tour Groups: I’m Better Than You
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Zach Fischer
  • Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME
  • Economists Worried As Daylight Savings Runs Out

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