WASHINGTON, D.C. — Weeks of less-than-firm resolve paid off Wednesday as Democrats forged a shutdown-ending compromise that accomplishes one of the party’s longstanding goals: strengthening […]
dear loyal followers, i address you today not by way of reselling my shart-stained 70s denim for $650 on grailed, or the carousel post of […]
Rejecting Donald Trump from art school wasn’t the best idea. Listen, I know that Donald Trump’s art is absolute dogshit. Watching Donald Trump try to […]
UCLA is full of beautiful, talented, funny, smart, and well-rounded women. I am not one of them. And that’s okay! I can clean the hell […]
WESTWOOD — Early Tuesday morning, third-year biology major Cee Bat was awoken by a loud noise emanating from above her, and was forced into a […]
WESTWOOD — Craving an apple juice on the rocks, ten-year-old James Kidd used his mom’s ID to gain entry to local bar Rocco’s Tavern last […]
WESTWOOD — Following flooding at Hedrick Hall this morning, residents have been commanded to find two of every animal through a divine email mandate from […]
WESTWOOD — Despite never traveling east of Joshua Tree, second-year political science student and Pasadena native Callie West will not shut up about New York […]
NEW YORK CITY — In a last-ditch effort to thwart frontrunner Zohran Mamdani, independent Andrew Cuomo has promised Republican candidate Curtis Sliwa undisclosed sexual favors […]
WESTWOOD — To combat the unprofitable number of students who exhibit reasonable sleep schedules and a healthy work-life balance, the UCLA Copious Amounts of Pessimistic […]
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