Rain Inspires Record Number Of Amateur Poets
LOS ANGELES—Citing the “motion of palm trees, like lonely children that shiver in the night” as well as the “glimmering pools of heaven’s tears”, a […]
National
Obama Issues Executive Order To Become Character In Game Of Thrones
NEW YORK—In an unprecedented use of executive authority, Barack Obama has issued an order to be written into the immensely-popular HBO fantasy series Game of […]
Cancer Patient Bearing Shaun White’s Hair Filled With Chagrin
MEMPHIS, TN – Julianna Norton, a 12-year old cancer patient at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, told reporters Thursday night that she has regrets about […]
Haunted House Willed to Heirs, If They Can Stay Through One Entire Night
SEATTLE, WA—After hearing of their late great-uncle Alfred Corman’s passing via his obituary in the Seattle Evening Post, siblings Andrew and Pauline Mortensen were left […]
Superbowl Analysts Expect Record Number Of Blazings
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ — In preparation for today’s Superbowl 48, which pits the Seattle Seahawks against the Denver Broncos, officials at MetLife Stadium have completed arrangements for […]