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Articles by Alex Lewis

About Alex Lewis
Born and raised in San Francisco, Alex Lewis is one of the few remaining practitioners of the art of dueling, a method of resolving conflict practiced from the 15th to 20th century in Western societies. Since the Civil War, all U.S. states have criminalized dueling, with punishments ranging from not being allowed to run for public office to the death penalty.

Gene Block Declares Victory In Iowa

February 5, 2020 Alex Lewis 0

DES MOINES — In the midst of the confusion surrounding the Iowa Democratic presidential caucus’ final results, UCLA chancellor and full-time heartthrob Gene Block has […]

Op-Ed: SexyBack By Justin Timberlake Just Metaphor For Cold War

December 3, 2019 Justin Timberlake 0

Yo, the name’s Justin Timberlake and I’m the creative genius behind the 2006 hit “SexyBack.” I’ve been called “the most talented artist of our generation,” […]

Trump Denies Collusion, Claims To Be Ukrainian President

November 3, 2019 Alex Lewis 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump appears to be firing back after being thoroughly criticized for his conversation with Volodymyr Zelensky, the Ukrainian president. “Witch […]

  • Trump Gives 15-Year-Old Girl Apology Smooch

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following new revelations about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, who he calls “the greatest pedophile of all time,” President Donald J. Trump […]

  • Democrats Advance Key Policy Goal of Strengthening Republican Party

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Weeks of less-than-firm resolve paid off Wednesday as Democrats forged a shutdown-ending compromise that accomplishes one of the party’s longstanding goals: strengthening […]

  • Opinion: I Will Not Apologize For My Phony Indie Stache

    dear loyal followers, i address you today not by way of reselling my shart-stained 70s denim for $650 on grailed, or the carousel post of […]

  • Opinion: Rejecting Donald Trump From Art School Was A Bad Idea

    Rejecting Donald Trump from art school wasn’t the best idea. Listen, I know that Donald Trump’s art is absolute dogshit. Watching Donald Trump try to […]

  • Opinion: Halloweekend Was For Hot Girls But Veteransdaynight Is For Us Mediocre Bitches

    UCLA is full of beautiful, talented, funny, smart, and well-rounded women. I am not one of them. And that’s okay! I can clean the hell […]

Featured Authors

Grace McIntyre
  • UCLA Opens “B-ruining Lives” Resource Center For Student Anti-Wellbeing
  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You
  • A Letter To Prospective Student Tour Groups: I’m Better Than You
Zach Fischer
  • Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME
  • Economists Worried As Daylight Savings Runs Out

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