WESTWOOD — Brandy Melville, the infamous one-size-fits-some retailer, has recently faced controversy surrounding their new policy that only allows students with an 11P or lower meal plan to enter. “Our size-exclusive environment has allowed us to protect our peace against skinnyphobic bigots. We want a safe space–but not too much space,” claimed Brandy worker Ezra Samall, attempting to break up a hangry brawl between customers in a store the size and shape of a wrestling ring. “Anyone who can wait an hour in line for a potato-wrapped mozzarella corn dog just doesn’t align with our European values. Actually, how did you get in? Are you lost? Security!” At press time, Westwood Brandy had thrown a party and invited Bella Hadid, who had trouble getting through the front door.