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Articles by Yuqi Ma

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About Yuqi Ma
Yuqi is a veteran writer with the Westwood Enabler. Not veteran in the sense that she fought in the armed forces, or we forcibly armed her to fight on the behalf of the Enabler, none of that is true, I don't care what the Washington Post thinks they uncovered, nobody is currently training Yuqi to become an unkillable one-woman death squad.

Report: Area Man Has Time To Get Sick

May 9, 2016 Yuqi Ma 0

LOS ANGELES—After delaying the onset of a cold for the past month, area man Jeff Martin announced that he is now ready to fight the […]

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Teen Spends Hours Trying On Different Personalities

January 24, 2016 Yuqi Ma 0

PORTLAND, OR—Posing in front of her bedroom mirror, 15-year-old Kaitlyn Howard tried on 72 different personalities in the span of five hours. “I like to […]

Birthday Girl Neglected By World For Remaining 364 Days Of The Year

October 21, 2015 Yuqi Ma 0

TOLEDO, OH — Following the birthday celebration of 20-year old Ayah Zobi, all living organisms from protists to senior citizens across all 196 nations of […]

  • Trump Gives 15-Year-Old Girl Apology Smooch

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following new revelations about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, who he calls “the greatest pedophile of all time,” President Donald J. Trump […]

  • Democrats Advance Key Policy Goal of Strengthening Republican Party

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Weeks of less-than-firm resolve paid off Wednesday as Democrats forged a shutdown-ending compromise that accomplishes one of the party’s longstanding goals: strengthening […]

  • Opinion: I Will Not Apologize For My Phony Indie Stache

    dear loyal followers, i address you today not by way of reselling my shart-stained 70s denim for $650 on grailed, or the carousel post of […]

  • Opinion: Rejecting Donald Trump From Art School Was A Bad Idea

    Rejecting Donald Trump from art school wasn’t the best idea. Listen, I know that Donald Trump’s art is absolute dogshit. Watching Donald Trump try to […]

  • Opinion: Halloweekend Was For Hot Girls But Veteransdaynight Is For Us Mediocre Bitches

    UCLA is full of beautiful, talented, funny, smart, and well-rounded women. I am not one of them. And that’s okay! I can clean the hell […]

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Grace McIntyre
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