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Articles by Rujula Rao

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About Rujula Rao
Rujula is an unpretentious Economics major who enjoys sitting on bags of money and telling other people what to do. She received her PhD in maturity after deleting TikTok, Instagram, and Google+.

Computer Science Major Takes First Date To Apple Genius Bar

February 18, 2024 Rujula Rao 0

APPLE STORE — Fourth-year English major Emma Woodhouse was surprised last week when her first date with a Computer Science major was at Apple’s Genius […]

HBO Merges With Other Streaming Services To Form MaxCockMount+

April 13, 2023 Rujula Rao 0

BURBANK — Following the rebrand of HBO Max to just “Max,” Warner Bros. announced today that they will also be merging with the Peacock and […]

UCLA Spins Wheel Of Random Names To Pick Class Of 2027

March 15, 2023 Rujula Rao 0

WESTWOOD — UCLA announced Wednesday that they would be switching to a 100% chance admission system for the incoming class of 2027. “Our job is […]

“This Is Not A Drill!” Says Man Holding Hammer

February 27, 2023 Rujula Rao 0

Opinion: If The Westwood Enabler Has 2000 Followers, Why Aren’t 2000 People Liking My Article?

November 12, 2022 Rujula Rao 0

Fake news. Misinformation. Deceit. These aren’t just words I searched up on Google to make me look smart. They also represent real issues I have […]

Hurricane Warning Issued To De Neve Holly Residents

October 19, 2022 Rujula Rao 0

WESTWOOD — Students living in De Neve Holly woke up in a fright yesterday as they encountered flash flooding, humidity, and massive rain storms throughout […]

  • Trump Gives 15-Year-Old Girl Apology Smooch

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following new revelations about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, who he calls “the greatest pedophile of all time,” President Donald J. Trump […]

  • Democrats Advance Key Policy Goal of Strengthening Republican Party

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Weeks of less-than-firm resolve paid off Wednesday as Democrats forged a shutdown-ending compromise that accomplishes one of the party’s longstanding goals: strengthening […]

  • Opinion: I Will Not Apologize For My Phony Indie Stache

    dear loyal followers, i address you today not by way of reselling my shart-stained 70s denim for $650 on grailed, or the carousel post of […]

  • Opinion: Rejecting Donald Trump From Art School Was A Bad Idea

    Rejecting Donald Trump from art school wasn’t the best idea. Listen, I know that Donald Trump’s art is absolute dogshit. Watching Donald Trump try to […]

  • Opinion: Halloweekend Was For Hot Girls But Veteransdaynight Is For Us Mediocre Bitches

    UCLA is full of beautiful, talented, funny, smart, and well-rounded women. I am not one of them. And that’s okay! I can clean the hell […]

Featured Authors

Grace McIntyre
  • UCLA Opens “B-ruining Lives” Resource Center For Student Anti-Wellbeing
  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You
  • A Letter To Prospective Student Tour Groups: I’m Better Than You
Zach Fischer
  • Backpacking Club Announces Trip To Public Affairs Building
  • UCLA Administration Goes On Strike to Protest AFSCME
  • Economists Worried As Daylight Savings Runs Out

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