Rain Inspires Record Number Of Amateur Poets
LOS ANGELES—Citing the “motion of palm trees, like lonely children that shiver in the night” as well as the “glimmering pools of heaven’s tears”, a […]
Articles by Luke Moran
The Enabler Asks You: Do you support the proposal to divide California?
As many of our readers may know, a petition to divide California into 6 different states has been gaining momentum over the past several weeks. […]
Clinton Supporters Climb Fence, Incite Riot
WESTWOOD—In a scene more suited for european soccer matches than politics, a horde of Clinton supporters climbed a fence near the Central Ticketing Office today, […]
Hammer Museum Installation Features Multiple Floors, Door Open/Door Close Buttons
WESTWOOD—With its futuristic sliding doors and innovative “moving platform”, Michael Hobart’s “Ascension” is the Hammer museum’s latest installation to test the bounds of the contemporary […]
Enabler Asks You: What are you doing for Valentines day?
It’s that time of year again! Enabler staff hit the campus this week to get the low-down on some of our reader’s plans for Valentine’s […]
“Yeah, Bro!” Confirms Frat Brother
WESTWOOD—An unidentified frat brother speaking on a phone just outside the IM field this morning confirmed that “Yeah, bro!” in direct response to the person […]
Underprepared English Professor To Increase Rate Of Dramatic Pauses In Next Lecture
WESTWOOD—Sources revealed this morning that English 142 Professor Michael Prinz intends to increase both the frequency and duration of his pauses during tomorrow’s lecture. According […]
Superbowl Analysts Expect Record Number Of Blazings
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ — In preparation for today’s Superbowl 48, which pits the Seattle Seahawks against the Denver Broncos, officials at MetLife Stadium have completed arrangements for […]
You want three weeks of winter vacation? Fine. One week then.
Running a statewide public university system is difficult. I hope you understand that. And as regent, sometimes you have to make tough decisions. Sometimes you’ve […]