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Fire Stuck In Traffic Trying To Get Through Sepulveda Pass
Opinion: Stealing Is Morally Wrong Unless It’s From The Hilltop Shop

The Hilltop Shop is essential to surviving on the Hill. Need laundry detergent? Cheeto Puffs? A month-old refrigerated sandwich? You go to the Hilltop Shop. […]
‘Banana Peel Killer’ Sentenced to Death by Wet Floor

BAKERSFIELD, CA — On Wednesday, serial murderer Anabel Pane, labeled the ‘Banana Peel Killer’ on social media due to her unconventional, cartoonish methods, received an […]
2020 Vibes? I’m Losing My Mind In My Childhood Bedroom
Opinion: Stop Asking To Switch Out Of Your Friday 8AM, Everyone Else Is Hungover Too

The start of the quarter is rough for all of us, let’s admit it. An end to a seemingly endless interlude from reality, our first […]

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Opinion: Bird Flu? Yeah, That’s What Their Wings Are For, Stupid
Opinion: Week Two Is Over, I Can Finally Drop The Mask And Start Skipping Classes
Person Who Woke Up For 8 AM Lived Ten Lifetimes By Time You Woke Up

4 Things I Refuse To Apologize For After Being Held Hostage By The Pirates Of The Caribbean Animatronics For 93 Days
Opinion: I’m Evacuating With My Custom Fantasy Tentacle Dildo And That’s IT
Opinion: I Am Going To Squish My Roommate Like A Bug

Paul McCartney, Bob Dylan To Headline “They’re Alive?” Festival
Fire Stuck In Traffic Trying To Get Through Sepulveda Pass
Opinion: Stealing Is Morally Wrong Unless It’s From The Hilltop Shop

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