TikTok User Doesn’t Actually Like TikTok
LOS ANGELES — Following the rise in popularity of TikTok among social media users across the world, local man Matt Mackers shrugged and told reporters […]
Articles by Arman
Trump Can’t Introduce Health Care Plan Because She Goes to Another School
WASHINGTON D.C. — In an interview with “38 Minutes” on Tuesday, President Donald Trump revealed to interviewer Lesley Stahl that his administration’s highly-anticipated health care […]
Oil Tycoon Promotes Impossible Meat As Best Solution To Global Warming
FORT WORTH, TEXAS — Oil tycoon and aspiring activist, Richard Johnston III, issued a press release Thursday promoting the environment-saving potential of switching to Impossible […]
“Beg For It,” Says Automatic Faucet
WESTWOOD — According to toilets close with the Enabler, the rightmost automatic faucet in Target has begun demanding bathroom users to “beg for it” in […]
Inclusivity Win! BPlate Adds Intermittent Fasting Option By Removing Breakfast Meal Periods
WESTWOOD — Residential dining hall Bruin Plate has decided to close its doors during all breakfast meal periods due to pressure from student members of […]
Teacher’s Pet Mitt Romney Asks For More Homework
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Buzzkill Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) has expressed interest in voting for the testimony of John Bolton and other key witnesses in the […]