WESTWOOD — Companies are searching far and wide for driven UCLA students to help out over the spring, just not you. Yeah, you. Reading this article right now on the toilet. “We would be honored to take such a bright-eyed, brilliant Bruin to do free labor for us during our busiest season,” explained CEO Beau Murr, who earned his position back in 1978 by walking into the building. “We just don’t want you. You must understand, we have multiple open positions, and are in desperate need of more workers; they just can’t be you! In this economy, we need all hands on deck, just as long as those hands don’t have your DNA or fingerprints on them. ” At press time, Murr suggested you reapply in the summer, so he can reject you again.