WESTWOOD – As Halloween creeps closer, hordes of college students are swarming their local off-brand costume stores for the newest rabbit-eared slutty sensation. “Wanna open my blind box?” asked second-year sociology major Friegh Thincker, as a crazed performative male reeled her in by the supersized POP MART keychain on her latex thong. “I would dress as a Playboy bunny again, but I mean, just look at how huge my Labuboobs look. I’m going as Baba, Makayleigh’s going as Quaqua, and Brittaneigh is going as Shlangshlong.” At press time, Scream Halloween had run out of QR code-certified Labubu bodysuits and is now selling Lafufu Latutus.