HUCKLEBERRY GROVE, KY — Amid the drama of last year’s election, the people of Huckleberry Grove made headlines across the nation when they elected a dog as mayor of their small town. Mayor McFetch, a three year-old border collie with a penchant for chasing squirrels, quickly became the subject of national attention, causing a boom in business and a surge of local pride within the tiny Kentucky hamlet.
However, the good times came to a screeching halt this morning, when Mayor McFetch chased a chipmunk into oncoming traffic and was pancaked by a cement mixer.
“Well, you can’t win ‘em all,” said local resident Frank Long. “We had a good thing going for a while. But what can you do about the mayor being flattened like a tortilla by twenty tons of steel hurtling down the interstate? Better luck next time I guess.”
“Sometimes that’s just how it is,” shrugged business owner Candace Knutz. “Sh*t happens, you know?”
“Death is inevitable, it is truth,” said Molly Weathers, 8. “Life’s purpose is finality. All must submit to the void.”
As of press time, a town council member had introduced an addendum to the next year’s budget to purchase a supply of leashes, despite a rival proposal to just elect a cat instead.
