Western Wall Grabbed By the Crevice

JERUSALEM — On May 22, one of the holiest sites of the Abrahamic religions was allegedly accosted by a visiting tourist with incredibly small hands. “When you’re the leader of the free world, they let you do anything,” bragged the man, shoving his hand into a crack of the 2,000 year-old sacred structure, also known as the Wailing Wall. “Yep, you just grab it right by the crevice.” At press time, rabbinic scholars noted that the Western Wall was wailing more so than usual.

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