
CLOUD CUCKOO LAND — In a statement released this morning out of the realm of imagination, Saddam Hussein’s Weapons of Mass Destruction mourned the death of former U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell. “He always stuck up for us, even when literally millions of people were saying that we didn’t exist,” said the grieving WMDs, themselves still reeling from the death of former Secretary of Defense and esteemed equivocator Donald Rumsfeld. “Anyone who knew Secretary Powell knew that he was a man committed to doing what was right, whether that meant covering up war crimes in Vietnam, covering up war crimes in Panama, or covering up war crimes in Iraq. He was willing to lose everything for what he believed in, like when he threatened to resign over homosexuals being allowed in the military; he also knew when to stay silent, like when he said he had no choice but to support the invasion of another nation on false pretenses.” At press time, the WMDs were being consoled by their closest friends, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.