Unmarried Gay Man Braces Himself For Increased Pressure From Family

Dominguez often lets his parent's calls go to voicemail.
Dominguez often lets his parent's calls go to voicemail.
Dominguez often lets his parent’s phone calls go to voicemail.

WEST HOLLYWOOD—Following the legalization of same-sex marriage throughout the United States, local single gay man Brian Dominguez is reportedly preparing himself for a drastic increase in his parents’ impatient questions, passive-aggressive texts, and general meddling regarding his marital status.

“Well shit, there goes my last excuse,” said Dominguez about the Supreme Court’s decision. “Look, I’m not ready to settle down yet. I like being single. But less than an hour after the news broke, my mom was already calling me to set me up on a date with her dentist’s son. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with this.”

Dominguez stated that he had been using the illegality of same-sex marriage as his go-to alibi since he first came out to his family in 2004. Even after California officially legalized same-sex marriage in 2013, Dominguez reportedly told his parents that his decision to remain single was based on the moral ground that he should not marry until all LGBT Americans had equal rights.

“You know, solidarity and stuff. They thought I was just being a humanitarian,” said Dominguez. “Man, I know this decision was long overdue and it means a lot to my community, but honestly, would it have killed the Supreme Court to put it off just a little bit longer? Like, at least until things slowed down at work and I actually had time to go out and meet someone.”

While Dominguez remains unsure about how to handle his current situation, he stated that he is considering moving to Australia, where same-sex marriage is still prohibited by law.

“It’s totally backward and a gross denial of human rights,” he added. “But if it’ll get my parents off my case for a few more years, that’s fine with me.” 

About Jasmine Don 30 Articles
Jasmine is best known for her work eating the bones and skin off of the boneless skinless chicken breasts at the super market. She's also the one who paints tropical frogs bright colors so we know which ones are poisonous.