UCLA_WIFI Acceptance Rate Drops To Record Low

WESTWOOD — The UCLA Office of Undergraduate Admissions and Department of IT Services announced in a joint release today that the percentage of students admitted to access the university’s primary wireless network, UCLA_WIFI, has dropped to a record low of 27%. “Every day, students from a highly-qualified pool of approximately 45,000 select the UCLA_WIFI network on their computers with the hopes of being admitted to the network. Unfortunately, we do not have enough bandwidth to allocate to every qualified student who attempts to connect,” read the press release, adding that each login attempt is reviewed holistically by a real person, ensuring a fair connection process. “The high number of login attempts is indicative of how popular our university’s network has become, and we unfortunately can only offer internet connection to the most impressive candidates.” Further outcry ensued when UCLA_WIFI abruptly rescinded several hundred students’ wireless connections, claiming that internet access was granted accidentally to them due to a technicality.

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