WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Army Choir, who thought that ‘Les Miserables’ was French for ‘Miserable Lesbians’, conducted a fearless uprising against the U.S. military industrial complex at the Governors Ball this Monday. “I hope the American people stand in awe of our martyrdom in singing that song of resistance that Donald Trump approved,” said George I. Tract, who made intense, romantic eye contact with the president during his solo. “I speak for all of us in the U.S. Army Choir when I say we will not back down in our revolutionary mission to disapprove of and ultimately follow President Trump’s orders, and bravely resist civilians in resource-rich countries. Plus also, you can always count on me to courageously shake my head ever so slightly whenever Mr. President says something racist or homophobic. Our troops are interracial and even gay now too. All’s fair in #loveislove.” At press time, Tract was heard passionately preaching to the choir regarding how Elphaba should’ve just worked with the Wizard, while they rehearsed for their upcoming performance of “A Sentimental Man”.
