Trump Accidentally Fires Self 200 Days In

WASHINTON, DC — Donald Trump, current President of the United States, accidentally fired himself on Monday, 200 days into his term, sources say. “In the midst of firing a majority of my current administration, I must have filed the wrong documents and ended up firing myself,” Trump explained, displaying the email from HR reading, Are you sure, Mr. President? “I mean first Attorney General Sally Yates, then FBI Director James Comey, then Spicer, Priebus, and the whole Scaramucci debacle; it can get really confusing when you are trying your best to drain the swamp. I must have accidentally drained myself in the process.” At press time, Trump was seen emailing back HR with an affirmative response.

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Editor-in-Chief 2018-2019. I use a lot of hyphens and dashes.