Housing Adds “Homoerotic Tension” Option to Male Roommate Contracts
WESTWOOD — Preparing for the renewal of roommate contracts for Winter Quarter, UCLA Housing has added a “Homoerotic Tension” clause, hoping to play matchmaker. “We […]
roommates
Seven Deadly Sins Revised To Include Not Refilling The Brita
VATICAN CITY — The Holy Roman Catholic Church announced on Tuesday that the Seven Deadly Sins will be revised to include Not Refilling the Brita. […]
Bomb Threat? Roommate’s Text About Cleaning Has An Exclamation Point
WESTWOOD — Tensions reached an unprecedented high Saturday when third-year Maya Hernandez received a text from her roommate saying, “Heyyy, let’s wipe down the counter […]
Opinion: Your Sleeping Roommate Doesn’t Matter
You’ve woken up bright and early. 7:50 am on a Tuesday. You cast a glance at your smug roommate in their fortress of fluff. A […]
Point: Wash Your Dishes / Counterpoint: I’m Letting Them Soak
Point: Wash Your Dishes By Alex Haru, Kellen Loke, Drew Casebier We’ve called this roommate meeting to discuss the issue of the dishes that have […]
Roommate Cooks Pasta Again
WESTWOOD — Returning home from a late evening class, third-year Biology major Ashley Barton is confirmed to have cooked pasta once again. “I like rigatoni,” […]
Roommate Found Online Starting To Show Some Red Flags
SAN DIEGO, CA — After thinking about it some more, incoming freshman Kayla Marker has begun to cast some doubt on her roommate selection choice following […]
Report: Milk Bad For Sure Now
WESTWOOD — Tentatively sniffing the half-gallon jug, fourth-year English major Jenny Wong concluded that the milk was bad for sure now. “It tasted kinda off […]
Local Roommate’s Tinder No Longer Ironic
WESTWOOD — Earlier this week, area woman Becca Corkin officially changed her stance on the nature of her roommate’s Tinder usage. “I think it started off […]
Report: Dishes Still There
WESTWOOD — According to a recent scientific study published by your roommates, findings verified that your dishes are still there. “After observing empirical data and […]