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Palestine

Sorry! Biden And Netanyahu Made Pinky Promise To Destroy Palestine As Little Pennsylvanian Boys

October 14, 2024 Azalea Morris 0

Washington, D.C. — With or without a ceasefire deal, Benjamin Netanyahu has promised to continue to rain hellfire upon Palestinians, due to a binding pinky […]

New UCLA Policy Moves “Free Speech Zone” To Middle Of The 405

September 12, 2024 Gabe McNeill 0

WESTWOOD — After the wave of pro-Palestine protests that swept campus last year, Interim Chancellor Darnell Hunt has announced a new policy that limits protests […]

UCLA Admin Release Bruin-Bear Spray

May 3, 2024 Sabrina Ellis 0

Gene Block’s Balls Chafe From Fence-Sitting

May 1, 2024 Milo Ellison 0

WESTWOOD — In a campus-wide press release, Gene Block, notoriously radical centrist, announced that his balls are chafing from his rampant fence-sitting. “While this unauthorized, […]

President Biden holding lipstick and wearing lipstick.

Joe Biden Pledges To Give Every IDF Soldier A Kiss On The Lips

November 29, 2023 Anonymous 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following increasing calls for a ceasefire since the start of the Israel-Palestine conflict, Joe Biden has declared that he will personally go […]

Arab-Israeli Conflict Resolved In YouTube Comment Section

January 24, 2016 Tucker Moses-Hanson 0

PALESTINE ISRAEL MIDDLE EAST—Commenting on a Youtube video entitled “Best Potato Kugel Recipe,” vocal members of the internet came together last Tuesday to definitively resolve […]

  • Texts reading "I started making music from home a few months ago. And you listen with headphones and just let me know your HONEST thoughts"

    I Lived It: An Old Friend Reached Out Just To Share Their Beats

    It’s a cool early summer evening. The moon is glowing, the stars are shining, and I’m taking advantage of this peaceful night by scrolling through […]

  • Global Prayers Rejected: New Pope Is American

    HEAVEN — Millions of prayers coming in from around the world were denied yesterday evening as the Catholic Church appointed its first ever American pope. […]

  • Opinion: Half The Government Is Fired And I Still Need A Real ID?

    Elon Musk, If you can find any room in your Grinch-sized heart, please do your job for once. If you are trying to make the […]

  • Opinion: They Should Let The New Pope Have Gay Sex Once So He Can See If It Should Still Be Banned Or Not

    With the death of Pope Francis, the first “woke pope,” the cardinals will soon enter conclave to pick the newest pontifex. I liked Pope Francis. […]

  • Opinion: He/Him Is Gender Neutral

    Hey guys. A lot of guys seem to be getting mad at me for using he/him pronouns even when referring to guys who aren’t guys. […]

Featured Authors

mm
Gabe McNeill
  • Five Reasons Why I Didn’t Ruin The Vibe By Throwing Up In De Neve
  • Opinion: They Should Let The New Pope Have Gay Sex Once So He Can See If It Should Still Be Banned Or Not
  • Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way
Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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