Biden Makes Crucial Mistake In Pardoning Turkey, Accidentally Pardons Human Son
WASHINGTON D.C. — In a stunning turn of events, President Joe Biden has officially pardoned his son Hunter Biden from a series of federal tax […]
WASHINGTON D.C. — In a stunning turn of events, President Joe Biden has officially pardoned his son Hunter Biden from a series of federal tax […]
RONALD REAGAN HOSPITAL — Local resident John Smith, a boyish man whose off-putting Hinge bio describes him as having “golden retriever energy,” has recently received […]
WASHINGTON D.C. — Seeking to expand on the “No Child Left Behind” educational program, Senate Republicans have rolled out “No Child Left Unshot.” “We think […]
NEW YORK — The world’s leading climate scientists gathered Tuesday to announce the culmination of their prank, known formally as the “Climate Crisis.” “Honestly we […]
CAMBRIDGE — A recent study done by MIT analysts has found that four out of five dentists say you should break up with your good-for-nothing […]
WASHINGTON, DC — In what can only be described as a heartwarming break from the nation’s political drama, sources confirmed Monday that every morning Joe […]
WESTWOOD — Early Thursday afternoon, 17 year-old Connor Adams recited a perfectly memorized monologue to his psychiatrist in hopes of obtaining an Adderall prescription. “Hi, […]
WESTWOOD — Second-year applied math student Jake Willow has a dream: to someday 69. “I’ve spent a lot of time in college learning about math, […]
As a member of the premiere satirical newspaper at UCLA, I personally feel like I’m being held back. I know I got what it takes […]
WASHINGTON — Following the poll-defying results of the 2020 general elections, the demographic of the Senate has been altered, some say, for the better. “We […]
Copyright © 2024 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes