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money

Trend Watch: Withdrawing All Your Money From The Bank

April 9, 2025 Paige Reed 0

WESTWOOD — In light of the recent economic chaos brought about by the Trump administration’s sweeping tariffs, many on social media have taken to a […]

State Government Grants $5 Kohl’s Cash Stimulus To Fire Victims

January 14, 2025 Dana Badii 0

WASHINGTON D.C.  — Today, President Biden promised that all victims of the ongoing Southern California fires can expect to receive $5 Kohl’s Cash in their […]

Opinion: I’m 🅿️aying 5 GRANDS to the first 7 ppl to Mesage me right now “moneY” 📈💸💪💯❤️

May 1, 2023 Dylan Wood 0

Seven Neat Ways To Actually MAKE Money This Holiday Season

December 10, 2019 Ben Robinow 0

Yes, it’s that time of year again! A time of joy and cheer, a time of love and family, and above all, a time of […]

Money Can’t Buy Happiness, Reports Man in Upper Middle Class

October 9, 2019 Max Flora 0

PALO ALTO — Jason Duane, a man lucky enough to be born into a financially secure family, recently reported that having money is not, in […]

Report: You’ve Read All Your Free Articles For This Month

May 6, 2019 Jack Lyons 0

WESTWOOD — Citing the paywall triggered after reading three articles in a given month, The Westwood Enabler reported that you have exhausted all of your […]

  • Survey Finds Candy With Razors Actually Awesome

    WESTWOOD — A recent survey conducted by people who aren’t “fucking pussies” has concluded that putting razors in candy is actually sick as hell. “I […]

  • Vampire Draws Line At Period Sex

    WESTWOOD — Local bloodsucker and thousandth-year religion student Vlad Cullen was seen insisting to his suitors he was down for almost anything in the bedroom, […]

  • Companies Are Desperate For Spring Interns: Just Not You, Specifically

    WESTWOOD — Companies are searching far and wide for driven UCLA students to help out over the spring, just not you. Yeah, you. Reading this […]

  • De Neve Oyster Night Ends As Expected

    WESTWOOD — Last Tuesday night, what was supposed to be a celebratory evening with unlimited raw bivalves at the least refined dining hall ended in […]

  • See You Later, Boy: Skater Boys Replaced By “Scooter Boys”

    WESTWOOD — Folks all across campus have been saying “see you later, boy” to the skater boy, and hello to the scooter boy, who has […]

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