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Cute! This Crafty Mom Taught Us Her DIY Methamphetamine Recipe!

February 27, 2018 Kylie Kinne 0

BOISE — Boise, Idaho native and Mom-Extraordinaire Karen-Michelle Cooper sat down with the girls in our test kitchen to show us her fun, easy recipe for […]

Benevolent Overlord Gene D. Block Graciously Allows Students His Precious Time

May 14, 2015 Jessica Waite 0

WESTWOOD – Chancellor Gene D. Block, Benevolent Overlord of UCLA, has graciously offered one hour of His precious time to students on Monday, May 18. […]

4 Students Found Dead In Deep Recesses of Library Stacks

December 11, 2014 Nathan Guzik 0

WESTWOOD—In what began as a potential footnote on an extra credit paper for the course HIST151P, History of Scottish Paedophilia, 3rd year Communications major Lou […]

Parkour Club Submits Request To Move Buildings Closer Together

December 11, 2014 Luke Moran 0

WESTWOOD—Noting the present difficulty in performing cross-building vaults, badass flips, roof-to-roof diving rolls and miscellaneous leaps, UCLA’s parkour club submitted a petition today demanding that […]

Obama Pardons Terrorist Turkey

November 25, 2014 Jessica Waite 0

WASHINGTON D.C. – This Wednesday, President Obama participated in the annual tradition of the Thanksgiving Turkey Pardon. Unusually, Obama chose a turkey from Guantanamo Bay. Truffles […]

Area Man Convinced He Was ‘Spotted On Bruin Walk’

November 10, 2014 Christopher Wong 0

WESTWOOD — Scrolling desperately through the latest submissions on popular missed connection site Spotted on Bruin Walk Sunday, 3rd year UCLA Computer Science major and […]

Post-’90s Decline Of Wallet Chains Leading To Millennial Spike In Wallet Theft

October 22, 2014 Christopher Wong 0

DES MOINES, IA — According to a recent study conducted by the Institute for the Research on Residual ’90s Influences, the annual rate of wallet […]

Students Disappointed At Enormous Activities Fair’s Lack Of Enormous Activities

October 6, 2014 Jessica Waite 0

WESTWOOD—“I’ve never felt so bitterly disappointed in my life,” said freshman Emily Offshore. Like many others, Offshore visited UCLA’s Enormous Activities Fair (EAF) to view the […]

‘Gaping Death Pit’ Swallows Dozens Of Graduating Seniors

June 16, 2014 Luke Moran 0

WESTWOOD—Following reports of several missing graduates, a search and rescue operation carried out by the Los Angeles Fire Department this morning revealed a total of […]

A Song Of Ice And Fire Spoils Game Of Thrones

June 4, 2014 Jessica Waite 0

HOLLYWOOD – Epic fantasy scholars have recently discovered that the best-selling book series A Song of Ice and Fire contains major spoilers for the hit […]

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