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Kerckhoff

A Letter To Prospective Student Tour Groups: I’m Better Than You

October 6, 2025 Grace McIntyre 0

Dear prospective student tour groups, I was once like you. Young, naïve, a newbie to the UCLA campus jungle. What separates me from you, though, […]

REPORT: The People In Line At Kerckhoff Definitely Want To Hear About Your Sex Life

January 17, 2024 Ysabella Yuquimpo 0

WESTWOOD — A survey conducted by the Daily Bruin concluded that the patrons of the historic Kerckhoff Coffee House definitely want to learn all the […]

I Lived It: Someone Asked To Share My Table At Kerckhoff

March 9, 2023 Sam Haines 0

The first thing that struck me, looking up at her, was that she had a kind face. What struck me next was her nerve. “Hi, […]

Local Hero At Kerckhoff Watching Everyone’s Stuff

January 18, 2023 Maya Chatrathi 0

WESTWOOD — Second-year economics major Joshua Wadams has been hailed as a local hero following his efforts to simultaneously look after the personal belongings of […]

REPORT: English Major Still Can’t Spell Kerckhoff

November 5, 2022 Lily Kiamanesh 0

WESTWOOD — Fourth-year English major Lauren Ipsum shocked friends and classmates Tuesday when she spelled the campus landmark as “Kirkhoff,” “Kerkoff,” and “Kirckoff” within a […]

  • Math Professor Doesn’t Know That Half Of Ten Weeks Is Five Weeks

    WESTWOOD — This week, local math professor Dr. Ivil has come under fire after scheduling a midterm for Week 4, a week that is definitively […]

  • Stolen Goods Stolen From Place With Exclusively Stolen Goods

    PARIS — Parisian police officers were stunned to discover this weekend that priceless jewels were stolen from the Louvre, a place that exclusively houses priceless […]

  • BPlate Announces Collab With McDonald’s To Ensure Froyo Machine Breaks More Often

    WESTWOOD – In a surprise new development, BPlate has announced a partnership with the fast food chain McDonald’s to ensure that the froyo machine remains […]

  • Government Shutdown Finally Hits Canvas

    WESTWOOD — Students everywhere awoke this morning to the modern equivalent of snow outside their windows: Canvas has been shut down due to bipartisan gridlock. […]

  • Opinion: If You A Stressed Baddie Who Procrastinated Before Canvas Went Down, This One’s For You

Featured Authors

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Georgia McNeill
  • Antisemitism Is Over! Trump Administration Cuts Funding From Cancer Research
  • Top Four Ways To Come Out To Your Family So They Can’t Say No
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
Sam Rusk
  • Top 5 UCLA Study Spots If You Don’t Need Outlets, Wifi, Tables or Chairs
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style

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