UCLA Student Stares Longingly At Instagram Summer Dumps Like Prisoner Gazing At Free World
WESTWOOD — Early Monday morning, first-year Philosophy student Alca Pone was seen spending a little too long wistfully staring at a photo dump of a […]
Embarrassing! You’re Wearing The Same Outfit As Your Profile Picture
WESTWOOD — Uh oh! After giving your Instagram to a cute classmate, they pointed out that you’re wearing the same outfit as your profile picture. […]
I Lived It: Guy I Told My Friends About Has Only One Instagram Post From 2018
It seemed too good to be true. And I was right. After two dates, the guy from that meet-cute dream encounter gave me his Instagram […]
“It’s Just Seasonal Depression,” Says Student During Spring Quarter
WESTWOOD — Fourth-year Primrose Miller claimed Monday that their depression is just seasonal, despite it being week eight of spring quarter. “I’m usually totally fine. […]
Opinion: If The Westwood Enabler Has 2000 Followers, Why Aren’t 2000 People Liking My Article?
Fake news. Misinformation. Deceit. These aren’t just words I searched up on Google to make me look smart. They also represent real issues I have […]
From “Ick” To “Sick”: The Guy You Were Planning On Ghosting Just Gave You Chlamydia
WESTWOOD — Second-year communications major and amateur juggler Mike Rowe Dong is reported to have given you chlamydia after a night of passionless sex. Your […]
Opinion: The Westwood Enabler Will Never Be UCLAFits
WESTWOOD — Picture this: you’re a cool UCLA undergraduate, class of 2023. You’re bored. You open Instagram in search of entertainment. Do you go to […]
White Woman Wondering If It Too Soon To Remove Ukraine Link From Instagram Bio
WESTWOOD — Local white woman Becky Garret has decided that it might be time to remove the Ukraine link from her Instagram bio. “I’ve had […]
“He’s Cuter In Person,” And Other Lies To Tell Your Friends About Him
Girly, we’ve all been there. You start talking to a new guy and you’re eager to gab with your girlfriends about this new potential mans […]