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halloween

Uh Oh! Guy In Patrick Bateman Costume Getting Too Method

October 31, 2024 Maggie Kwan 0

WESTWOOD — Last weekend, partygoers at a consulting club fundrager agreed that second-year business economics major Alan Paul got a little too into his Patrick […]

Opinion: I Don’t Need A Halloween Costume If I’ve Never Truly Been Myself

October 31, 2022 John Doe 0

I love October. Changing leaves on every tree, pumpkins on every stoop, and Trader Joe’s butternut squash mac and cheese in every student’s freezer. But […]

Corset Factory Employees To Unionize In Light Of Halloween

October 30, 2022 Ella Cash 0

LOS ANGELES – As Halloween nears, corset factory employees are threatening to unionize after working tirelessly for months producing the season’s most sought-after accessory: corsets. […]

Fraternity Announces Only Moms Are Invited To Party This Weekend

October 28, 2022 Ava Allam 0

WESTWOOD — Your mom and dad just called, and they’re coming to visit you for Parents’ Weekend. Unfortunately for you, it’s also Halloweekend: arguably the […]

5 Effortless Halloween Costumes That Are Quirky, Sexy, Aesthetic, Funny, Cool, Hot, Goofy, Fun, and Chill

October 26, 2022 Mehr Juneja 0

We know how much pressure coming up with a good costume for Halloween is. This spooky season, we at the Westwood Enabler have the quirkiest, […]

Haunted House On The Hill Just Classic Triple Inhabited By Three Men

October 20, 2022 Anya Bergstrom 0

WESTWOOD— In a whirlwind of festivity, the UCLA On-Campus Housing Council has decided to celebrate the spooky holiday season with their very own haunted house […]

Students, Demons Look Forward To Halloweekend

October 29, 2021 Jade Lacy 0

WESTWOOD — As the three day partying event known colloquially as “Halloweekend” approaches, students and the demonic creatures that lurk in the back of their […]

Opinion: My Scooby Doo Costume Is Not “Inappropriate,” My Balls Are Supposed To Hang Out Like That

October 28, 2021 Will Tucker 0

I am absolutely sick and tired of everyone asking me the same question. I’ve walked around this party all night trying to make pleasant, simple […]

Spooky! Computer Science Student Dresses Up As Woman To Scare Classmates

October 27, 2021 Milo Ellison 0

WESTWOOD — In the spirit of Halloween, third-year computer science student Andrew Hawkins plans to dress up as a woman, which would be his peers’ […]

BREAKING: I Saw Mommy Kissing The Great Pumpkin

November 1, 2019 Max Flora 0

PUMPKIN PATCH — Last night was Halloween, and in my nine years alive, I had never before seen such haunting magic. At around 2 AM, […]

Posts pagination

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  • Man standing in a mirror maze, pointing to reflections of himself. He looks very bewildered.

    Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way

    HELL — Following a trip to the local mirror maze, resident genius Leon Noel scoffed at all the morons in there going the wrong direction. […]

  • Julio Frenk’s “Listening Exercise” Is Cuck Play Where He Listens To Me And My Lover Through The Door

    Dear Bruin Community: Since Julio began his listening exercise in February, I have met with 29 men and women, and more than 5,000 non-binary baristas, […]

  • Idiot Moron Claps At Poetry Reading

    WESTWOOD — This morning, fourth-year American literature and culture major Emily Yonicson humiliated herself and her family as she clapped, not snapped, at a local […]

  • Heartbreaking! Invisible Lesbian Unable To Celebrate Lesbian Visibility Week

    WESTWOOD — After attempting to participate in the LGBTQ Campus Resource Center’s event for Lesbian Visibility Week, one lesbian was deeply disappointed by the center’s […]

  • “Sperm Racing” Event to Take Place in Communal Bathroom Shower Stall

Featured Authors

mm
Gabe McNeill
  • Opinion: They Should Let The New Pope Have Gay Sex Once So He Can See If It Should Still Be Banned Or Not
  • Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way
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Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
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  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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