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girlfriend

“Romance Movies Have No Plot” Says Guy Whose Romance Has Even Less Plot

February 21, 2025 Jared Reed 0

Despite the fact this his current relationship is loveless and boring, Business Economics major Gustavo Hettro complained that his girlfriend’s choice of Pride and Prejudice […]

Opinion: If You’re Buying Valentine’s Day Gifts From The Hilltop Shop, You Don’t Deserve Your Girlfriend

February 14, 2025 Shayne Sweet 0

Fellas – I know midterms are tough. I know it’s so hard to feel romantic in these trying times. I know you straight up forgot […]

Op-Ed: I Think My Girlfriend Is Actually Tupac In Disguise

October 21, 2019 Matthew Sneezelton 0

I consider myself a rational person. I take things as they come, I try not to jump to conclusions, and I definitely don’t believe in […]

  • Texts reading "I started making music from home a few months ago. And you listen with headphones and just let me know your HONEST thoughts"

    I Lived It: An Old Friend Reached Out Just To Share Their Beats

    It’s a cool early summer evening. The moon is glowing, the stars are shining, and I’m taking advantage of this peaceful night by scrolling through […]

  • Global Prayers Rejected: New Pope Is American

    HEAVEN — Millions of prayers coming in from around the world were denied yesterday evening as the Catholic Church appointed its first ever American pope. […]

  • Opinion: Half The Government Is Fired And I Still Need A Real ID?

    Elon Musk, If you can find any room in your Grinch-sized heart, please do your job for once. If you are trying to make the […]

  • Opinion: They Should Let The New Pope Have Gay Sex Once So He Can See If It Should Still Be Banned Or Not

    With the death of Pope Francis, the first “woke pope,” the cardinals will soon enter conclave to pick the newest pontifex. I liked Pope Francis. […]

  • Opinion: He/Him Is Gender Neutral

    Hey guys. A lot of guys seem to be getting mad at me for using he/him pronouns even when referring to guys who aren’t guys. […]

Featured Authors

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Gabe McNeill
  • Five Reasons Why I Didn’t Ruin The Vibe By Throwing Up In De Neve
  • Opinion: They Should Let The New Pope Have Gay Sex Once So He Can See If It Should Still Be Banned Or Not
  • Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way
Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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