Gene Block
UCLA’s Final Offer: Replace All TAs With This Cute Widdle Guy
WESTWOOD — In a bold move, UCLA officials have announced plans to fire all teaching assistants and replace them with Mr. Pudding. “We are always […]
Gene Block Purchases Gene Glock Following Recent Budget Cuts
WESTWOOD — Due to recent budget cuts, Chancellor Gene Block has begun pushing for a new cost-cutting and productivity-boosting measure: murder. “Even if we shoot […]
This Year, Gene Block Is Thankful You Haven’t Heard About The Mold Yet
WESTWOOD — As Thanksgiving approaches and the UCLA community undergoes the largest strike in recent history, Gene Block is grateful for your ignorance of the […]
Gene Block Says Campus Wifi Won’t Truly Get Better Until It Learns To Accept Help
WESTWOOD— Gene Block told the UCLA community on Wednesday that administrators staged a “promising” intervention with the campus WiFi, but admitted that we can’t expect […]
Opinion: I Don’t Need A Halloween Costume If I’ve Never Truly Been Myself
I love October. Changing leaves on every tree, pumpkins on every stoop, and Trader Joe’s butternut squash mac and cheese in every student’s freezer. But […]
Gene Block Drops Out Of Race For Prime Minister
10 GAYLEY ST — UCLA Chancellor Gene Block announced Tuesday that he will be withdrawing himself from consideration as leader of the Labour Party and […]
UCLA To Offer Off Campus Meal Plan For Those “Willing To Pay The Price”
WESTWOOD — Late, late last night, Frank Ghoulish, UCLA Viceroy of Meals and Eating, announced that the 2022-23 school year would see the return of […]
Quarter System To Become Dollar System Due To Inflation
WESTWOOD — An email was sent to the Bruin community late last night, in which it was announced that the quarter system would be renamed […]
UCLA To Provide Free Girl Talk In All Campus Bathrooms
WESTWOOD — Following the installation of free menstrual products in over 50% of UCLA bathrooms, administration has announced plans to provide free girl talk in […]