Alabamian Initiates Dorm Floorcest Movement In The Name Of Culture
WESTWOOD — First-year Alabamian and psychology major Cous N. Louver has sparked controversy for introducing a new trend among his peers: floorcest. “My entangled family […]
Gene Block
Gene Block One Well-Worded Email Away From World Peace
WESTWOOD — After sending multiple emails about the current “conflicts” happening both on campus and internationally, Gene Block is reportedly just one well-worded email away […]
UCLA To Investigate What UCLA Ordered UCPD To Do
WESTWOOD — On Monday morning, Chancellor Gene Block announced UCLA’s investigation into what UCLA ordered UCPD to do to UCLA student protestors on UCLA’s campus. […]
Generous UCLA Admin Gives Week Off For Students To Process Drake-Kendrick Feud
WESTWOOD — In a move that exemplifies the generosity and kindness they are known for, the UCLA administration announced on Monday that they would give […]
Gene Block’s Balls Chafe From Fence-Sitting
WESTWOOD — In a campus-wide press release, Gene Block, notoriously radical centrist, announced that his balls are chafing from his rampant fence-sitting. “While this unauthorized, […]
Throwing Up In Class And Four Other Trends That Have Majorly Fallen Off
Reminiscing on trends that used to be all the rage but haven’t gotten a lot of attention lately? The Westwood Enabler has you covered. These […]
Boelter Scientists Announce Creation Of Slowest Elevator Possible
WESTWOOD — During a press conference late Thursday evening, a team of scientists from Boelter Hall announced that they had created the slowest elevator possible. […]
Westwood Resident Forced To Use Candle For Non-BDSM Reasons
WESTWOOD — Due to a power outage, a Westwood resident was forced to use a candle as a light source rather than for its primary […]
Gene Block Gathering Two Of Each Major For Ark
WESTWOOD — Following the historic rains and flood warnings in Los Angeles, it was reported late Sunday night that UCLA chancellor Gene Block has begun […]
Vegan’s ‘Ethical Diet’ Sourced Exclusively Through Child Labor
WESTWOOD — Local vegan Polly Mitchell shared her advice Tuesday on how to live a more ethical lifestyle through her sustainable snacks produced by children […]