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4 Reasons Why You Don’t Deserve To Register In That Class You Need To Graduate

January 6, 2022 Don John 0

You really thought you were out of here. How naïve you were, going on your Class Planner, just begging for a spot to open up […]

Life Hack: Attract Students To Your Study Group By Asking What Their Skeleton Looks Like

March 2, 2019 Raphe Burstein 0

  If you’re looking for members to make a study group, there’s no method more tried and true than approaching students in your class and […]

Aww! Man Celebrates Valentine’s Day by Making Love to Capitalism

February 13, 2019 Sam Mallari 0

Johnny Richardson, a 21-year-old Westwood resident, woke up fresh-faced with an extra spring in his step and walked to his local grocery store to ring […]

Seven Cute Christmas Gift Ideas Inspired by Animal Crossing

December 19, 2018 Drew Muxlow 0

1. Crocheted Bell Bag — This gift idea is perfect for anyone who is short on cash, but has plenty of time and crocheting experience! […]

Taking Action: When This Man Heard About the Waffle House Shooting, He Copied and Pasted All of the Lyrics to John Lennon’s “Imagine” on His Facebook Timeline

April 24, 2018 Brian McReynolds 0

It seems like there’s a mass shooting every week in America, each followed by little change. People offer their ‘thoughts and prayers’ and argue about […]

Amazing! This Magic 8 Ball Pinpoints Exactly How You’ll Ruin Your Life!

April 12, 2018 Alex Kukoff 0

  Hear hear, lads and ladettes! After decades of helpless submission to fate’s cruel game of chance, scientists and toymakers alike have designed a Magic […]

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How To Interact With Your Friends Who Are Already On Summer Vacation

May 21, 2017 Enabler Staff 0

Friends already on summer vacation? Ouch. Here’s how to masterfully achieve successful social interactions without letting your jealousy interfere. Leave a pathetic comment on a […]

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Exciting News: Hovering Over Public Toilets Proves To Be Most Effective Ab Workout

April 30, 2017 Salma Zaky 0

BEVERLY HILLS – A recent study has revealed that the most practical way to work out your abs is by hovering over public toilets. “Whenever […]

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Incredible! This Couple Got An Omelet At Covel And Didn’t Have Sex In Line

March 6, 2017 Jack Lyons 0

We all know how tempting it can be to intimately embrace your partner during that long, hard wait for a sizzling, delicious omelet at Covel […]

  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes

    Just the other day, I was walking to campus, my fresh, virgin eyes bright and cheery, excited to see the world and all the glory […]

  • A white boy and Asian girl standing outside Marugame Udon

    White Boy With Asian Girlfriend Too Excited To Celebrate AAPI Month

    WESTWOOD — After making yet another joke about “sucking balls” while ordering boba, first-year Global Studies major Brayden Smith made an Instagram post where he […]

  • Embarrassing! Student Doesn’t Have Outfit For Victorian French Gothic Hyperpop Themed Fundrager

    WESTWOOD — This weekend, civil engineering freshman James Baeseck was humiliated as he failed to show up in theme to the unsustainable fashion club’s Victorian […]

  • Report: Never Trust How You Feel About Your Life From 12AM To 11:59PM

    WESTWOOD — A new study from UCLA’s Student Anxiety and Depression (SAD) laboratory recommends to never trust anything you think about your life from 12:00 […]

  • Secretary of Defense Announces That Only The “Boy Lesbians” Will Be Eligible for Future Drafts

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Commenting on the draft eligibility of American women, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth announced that only the “boy lesbians” would be eligible. […]

Featured Authors

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Gabe McNeill
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
  • Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site
  • Five Reasons Why I Didn’t Ruin The Vibe By Throwing Up In De Neve
Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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