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film

Dune: Part Two Beats Out Magic Mike To Become Highest Grossing Film To Feature A Massive Worm

March 18, 2024 Gabe McNeill 0

LOS ANGELES — With a stunning $500 million domestic box office revenue, Denis Villenueve’s Dune: Part Two has passed Magic Mike’s $167 million revenue to […]

Student Logs Lecture on Letterboxd

December 13, 2023 Gabe McNeill 0

WESTWOOD – Following a particularly good LS15 class session, first-year film major Wes Scorsese logged the lecture to his Letterboxd. “Triumphant, in every sense of […]

BruinCast Employee Wins Oscar For Creative Camerawork

March 13, 2023 Gabby Bromberg 0

WESTWOOD — Fourth-year Abby Gromberg made history this Oscar Sunday after she was awarded “Best Director” for her work on LS 7A 2/13. “I think […]

Student Points Out Movie Was Filmed At UCLA, Cums

November 21, 2022 Elena Whitlock 0

WESTWOOD — First-year Jacques Mehoff has been struggling with non-coital emissions during recent group movie nights watching films he personally picked out. “Did you know […]

Christopher Nolan Nukes UCLA For 5-Second “Oppenheimer” Shot

March 8, 2022 Milo Ellison 0

WESTWOOD — In what has now become a mass-casualty event, Christopher Nolan has nuked the UCLA campus for a 5-second B-reel scene in his new […]

The Girl Boss’s Guide To Discussing Inception Without Ever Watching It

February 23, 2022 Gabby Bromberg 0

Ready for a movie that you’ll like as much as you hate condoms? Christopher Nolan’s cinematic masterpiece is beloved by film bros everywhere, and soon […]

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Marvel Announces 525,949 New Marvel Movies For Next Year

June 2, 2015 Vincent Le 0

HOLLYWOOD — Today at the Hollywood Comics Convention, Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige announced 525,949 new Marvel movies would come out next year. “Audiences around […]

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TFT Tests Positive For James Franco

June 2, 2015 Luke Moran 0

WESTWOOD — A test issued at random last Tuesday by the Centers for Celebrity Disease Control came up positive on multiple counts of Celebrity, indicating […]

  • Man standing in a mirror maze, pointing to reflections of himself. He looks very bewildered.

    Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way

    HELL — Following a trip to the local mirror maze, resident genius Leon Noel scoffed at all the morons in there going the wrong direction. […]

  • Julio Frenk’s “Listening Exercise” Is Cuck Play Where He Listens To Me And My Lover Through The Door

    Dear Bruin Community: Since Julio began his listening exercise in February, I have met with 29 men and women, and more than 5,000 non-binary baristas, […]

  • Idiot Moron Claps At Poetry Reading

    WESTWOOD — This morning, fourth-year American literature and culture major Emily Yonicson humiliated herself and her family as she clapped, not snapped, at a local […]

  • Heartbreaking! Invisible Lesbian Unable To Celebrate Lesbian Visibility Week

    WESTWOOD — After attempting to participate in the LGBTQ Campus Resource Center’s event for Lesbian Visibility Week, one lesbian was deeply disappointed by the center’s […]

  • “Sperm Racing” Event to Take Place in Communal Bathroom Shower Stall

Featured Authors

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Gabe McNeill
  • Opinion: They Should Let The New Pope Have Gay Sex Once So He Can See If It Should Still Be Banned Or Not
  • Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way
  • Report: Straightest Woman You Know Won’t Stop Calling Boyfriend “Fruity”
Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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