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divorce

Trend Watch: Divorce!

March 6, 2023 James Hinckleberry, Family Law Attorney (1-800-DIVORCE) 0

After a glorious 20-year run, US divorce rates are back down to historic lows. Come on, people! What are we doing? The United States is […]

Brendon Urie Files For Divorce From Brendon Urie

January 30, 2023 Maya Chatrathi 0

LOS ANGELES— Brendon Urie, lead singer and only remaining member of the former pop-rock band Panic! At The Disco, has announced that he will be […]

Professor Requiring Students To Purchase Her Divorce Memoir

October 25, 2022 Azalea Morris 0

WESTWOOD — Students in Professor Carol Williams’ Chemistry class were dismayed to learn Tuesday that 75% of their grade would consist of reading quizzes on […]

“It Rhymes with Schmivorce” And Four Other Ways To Break The News To Your Kids

May 17, 2022 Tatiana Davidson 0

It’s never easy to tell your kids that mommy and daddy are getting a divorce. Between the tears, the pleas for reconciliation, and a lawsuit […]

Man Loses Collaborative Playlist in Divorce Settlement

October 21, 2021 Don John 0

PORTLAND, OR — A Portland couple has divorced after ten years of marriage, with Ms. Slater gaining custody of the marriage’s collaborative Spotify playlist. “Look, […]

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Child of Divorce Gets All The Cool Shit, Peers Say

May 8, 2016 Kushal Chatterjee 0

CLEVELAND, OH—Citing his endless supply of expensive gifts including long distance RC helicopters and a mini TV, peers of Anthony Morega, a second grader at […]

  • UCPD Relapses After Suffering Arrest Withdrawals

    WESTWOOD – Last night, UCPD relapsed in their ongoing addiction to arresting innocent students by violently swarming a movie screening and arresting two attendees. “The […]

  • UCPD Arrests Student For Thinking About Palestine

    WESTWOOD — UCPD officers reported that their week of sitting on their asses at Royce has finally proven useful as they arrested a passerby for […]

  • Man standing in a mirror maze, pointing to reflections of himself. He looks very bewildered.

    Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way

    HELL — Following a trip to the local mirror maze, resident genius Leon Noel scoffed at all the morons in there going the wrong direction. […]

  • Julio Frenk’s “Listening Exercise” Is Cuck Play Where He Listens To Me And My Lover Through The Door

    Dear Bruin Community: Since Julio began his listening exercise in February, I have met with 29 men and women, and more than 5,000 non-binary baristas, […]

  • Idiot Moron Claps At Poetry Reading

    WESTWOOD — This morning, fourth-year American literature and culture major Emily Yonicson humiliated herself and her family as she clapped, not snapped, at a local […]

Featured Authors

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Gabe McNeill
  • Five Reasons Why I Didn’t Ruin The Vibe By Throwing Up In De Neve
  • Opinion: They Should Let The New Pope Have Gay Sex Once So He Can See If It Should Still Be Banned Or Not
  • Other Idiots in Mirror Maze Going The Wrong Way
Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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