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dining halls

On-Campus Squirrels Now Required To Purchase Meal Plan

November 21, 2022 Sophia Balkovski 0

WESTWOOD — — UCLA Dining made the controversial decision Monday to require on-campus squirrels to purchase a meal plan. “We make all the other on-campus […]

Off-Campus Students Realize They Have To Feed Themselves To Live

March 3, 2022 Don John 0

WESTWOOD — Off-campus student Jess Rodgers expressed frustration Tuesday after learning that Earth did not have dining halls everywhere and that she needed to find […]

Covel Announces Plans To Add Food To Menu

February 20, 2020 Dylan Wood 0

WESTWOOD — The Hill was abuzz Monday morning following a long-rumored announcement that Covel would finally be adding food to its menu. “We’ve heard your […]

Bruin Plate Introduces Bottomless Mimosas

November 20, 2019 Griffin Stout 0

WESTWOOD — The UCLA Housing department has recently announced that Bruin Plate, UCLA’s newest and largest dining hall, will begin serving bottomless mimosas beginning in […]

White Freshman Takes Huge Risk With Ethnic-Sounding Entrée

December 19, 2018 Drew Muxlow 0

WESTWOOD — Yesterday evening, caucasian first-year Ezra Bloss got the Salvadorian pupusas at De Neve dining hall. “I’ve never felt more attacked in my life,” […]

Covel Voted Most Okayest Dining Hall

May 20, 2018 Kylie Kinne 0

WESTWOOD — UCLA Dining reported this week that in a comprehensive poll of UCLA residents, students voted Covel the “most okayest” dining hall. “I don’t […]

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Dining Hall Employee Getting Really Tired Of Your Shit

June 10, 2017 Hannah Page 0

WESTWOOD—After multiple claims that she was getting frustrated with patrons stealing things, sneaking in, and generally causing a ruckus, dining hall employee Diane Wollman confirmed […]

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Incredible! This Couple Got An Omelet At Covel And Didn’t Have Sex In Line

March 6, 2017 Jack Lyons 0

We all know how tempting it can be to intimately embrace your partner during that long, hard wait for a sizzling, delicious omelet at Covel […]

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New Dining Hall Somehow More Pretentious Than B-Plate

January 10, 2017 Hannah Page 0

WESTWOOD—In an impressive display of extravagance, UCLA Housing recently unveiled a new dining hall, which is somehow even more pretentious than Bruin Plate. The Study […]

Report: All Late Night Curly Fries Traced Back To Single “Mother Fry”

February 14, 2016 Isaac Williams 0

WESTWOOD—In a report issued by the UCLA Center for Sustenance Research, scientists have confirmed that all curly fries from De Neve Late Night are traceable […]

Posts pagination

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    Happy Father’s Day! Fortunately for you, your dad isn’t one of those basic losers who actually gets out of the house and does something on […]

  • Pros And Cons Of Texting Your Hometown Situationship Right Before Summer Vacation

    Summer is nigh. The end of finals is in sight, and unless you were lucky enough to get accepted into some fancy internship in Palo […]

  • Blue and yellow UCLA-themed vibrators at the Hilltop shop

    Anxious For Finals? Hilltop Shop Releases UCLA Vibrators

    WESTWOOD — In light of test-taking jitters, the Hilltop Shop has released UCLA-themed vibrators ahead of finals. “I really wanted to buy the Blue Bullet […]

  • Naked guy at the UCLA undie run

    Trend Watch: Going Commando At Undie Run

    Enough is enough. Every time the UV level is a 7, everybody and their mother is out getting sunburnt on Janss in a bikini top. […]

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