On-Campus Squirrels Now Required To Purchase Meal Plan
WESTWOOD — — UCLA Dining made the controversial decision Monday to require on-campus squirrels to purchase a meal plan. “We make all the other on-campus […]
dining halls
Off-Campus Students Realize They Have To Feed Themselves To Live
WESTWOOD — Off-campus student Jess Rodgers expressed frustration Tuesday after learning that Earth did not have dining halls everywhere and that she needed to find […]
Covel Announces Plans To Add Food To Menu
WESTWOOD — The Hill was abuzz Monday morning following a long-rumored announcement that Covel would finally be adding food to its menu. “We’ve heard your […]
Bruin Plate Introduces Bottomless Mimosas
WESTWOOD — The UCLA Housing department has recently announced that Bruin Plate, UCLA’s newest and largest dining hall, will begin serving bottomless mimosas beginning in […]
White Freshman Takes Huge Risk With Ethnic-Sounding Entrée
WESTWOOD — Yesterday evening, caucasian first-year Ezra Bloss got the Salvadorian pupusas at De Neve dining hall. “I’ve never felt more attacked in my life,” […]
Covel Voted Most Okayest Dining Hall
WESTWOOD — UCLA Dining reported this week that in a comprehensive poll of UCLA residents, students voted Covel the “most okayest” dining hall. “I don’t […]
Dining Hall Employee Getting Really Tired Of Your Shit
WESTWOOD—After multiple claims that she was getting frustrated with patrons stealing things, sneaking in, and generally causing a ruckus, dining hall employee Diane Wollman confirmed […]
Incredible! This Couple Got An Omelet At Covel And Didn’t Have Sex In Line
We all know how tempting it can be to intimately embrace your partner during that long, hard wait for a sizzling, delicious omelet at Covel […]
New Dining Hall Somehow More Pretentious Than B-Plate
WESTWOOD—In an impressive display of extravagance, UCLA Housing recently unveiled a new dining hall, which is somehow even more pretentious than Bruin Plate. The Study […]
Report: All Late Night Curly Fries Traced Back To Single “Mother Fry”
WESTWOOD—In a report issued by the UCLA Center for Sustenance Research, scientists have confirmed that all curly fries from De Neve Late Night are traceable […]