Opinion: I Am Going To Squish My Roommate Like A Bug
Oh my god. My roommate just looked at me. Why in the fuck ass did he just do that. He might as well be taking […]
Christmas
Success! Jesus Didn’t Cry On His Birthday This Year
HEAVEN — The heavens rejoiced yesterday as Jesus made it through his birthday without crying. “There’s just so much pressure to have a good day, […]
ROTC Students Drafted For The War On Christmas
WESTWOOD — UCLA ROTC students were dismayed to learn yesterday that recent developments in the war on Christmas meant they would have to leave their […]
Local Woman Takes Back Night By Asking Mom If She Really Needs Second Helping
LOS ANGELES — This Christmas, Ellie Smith is taking back the night by asking her mom if she really needs that second helping. “This is […]
Seven Neat Ways To Actually MAKE Money This Holiday Season
Yes, it’s that time of year again! A time of joy and cheer, a time of love and family, and above all, a time of […]
The W.E. Guide To History: Black Friday
LOS ANGELES — As seems to be the case with most if not all of our cherished American traditions, Black Friday has a much “darker” […]