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2022

Spotify Wrapped 2022 Just Spotify Wrapped 2021 In Slightly Different Order

December 1, 2022 Robi Chatterjee 0

WESTWOOD — As the year comes to an end, Spotify has once again given each user a personalized playlist consisting of their most listened songs […]

Christopher Nolan Nukes UCLA For 5-Second “Oppenheimer” Shot

March 8, 2022 Milo Ellison 0

WESTWOOD — In what has now become a mass-casualty event, Christopher Nolan has nuked the UCLA campus for a 5-second B-reel scene in his new […]

EXPOSED: Queen Elizabeth Is A Nepotism Baby

March 1, 2022 Gillian Smith 0

LONDON — Sources revealed early Tuesday morning that Queen Elizabeth II is a product of nepotism. “I looked her up on Wikipedia and her parents’ […]

5 Organs To Steal From Your Significant Other Other Than Their Heart

February 15, 2022 Ammi Lane-Volz 0

Strapped for cash for the best Valentine’s Day gift? Already donated all the blood you can to the blood and platelet center? Not to fret– […]

“He’s Cuter In Person,” And Other Lies To Tell Your Friends About Him

February 1, 2022 Hanna Barlow 0

Girly, we’ve all been there. You start talking to a new guy and you’re eager to gab with your girlfriends about this new potential mans […]

2,022 Things To Look Forward To In 2022

January 7, 2022 Robi Chatterjee 0

2021 has wrapped up and we are now in a new year. Change can be scary, so here is a list of 2,022 things that […]

  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes

    Just the other day, I was walking to campus, my fresh, virgin eyes bright and cheery, excited to see the world and all the glory […]

  • A white boy and Asian girl standing outside Marugame Udon

    White Boy With Asian Girlfriend Too Excited To Celebrate AAPI Month

    WESTWOOD — After making yet another joke about “sucking balls” while ordering boba, first-year Global Studies major Brayden Smith made an Instagram post where he […]

  • Embarrassing! Student Doesn’t Have Outfit For Victorian French Gothic Hyperpop Themed Fundrager

    WESTWOOD — This weekend, civil engineering freshman James Baeseck was humiliated as he failed to show up in theme to the unsustainable fashion club’s Victorian […]

  • Report: Never Trust How You Feel About Your Life From 12AM To 11:59PM

    WESTWOOD — A new study from UCLA’s Student Anxiety and Depression (SAD) laboratory recommends to never trust anything you think about your life from 12:00 […]

  • Secretary of Defense Announces That Only The “Boy Lesbians” Will Be Eligible for Future Drafts

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Commenting on the draft eligibility of American women, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth announced that only the “boy lesbians” would be eligible. […]

Featured Authors

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Gabe McNeill
  • Opinion: No, I Will Not Pie You On Bruinwalk, Please Don’t Involve Me In Your Fetishes
  • Opinion: The Ackerman Third Floor Gay Cruising Space Should Be A Designated Cultural Heritage Site
  • Five Reasons Why I Didn’t Ruin The Vibe By Throwing Up In De Neve
Sam Rusk
  • Ashe Center To Offer Gender Affirming Computer Science Degrees
  • Local Centaur Divided Hot Dog Style
  • Time Flies: 2005 Baby Officially Queer Elder

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