Surprise! Student Without Any Dreams Or Passion Goes Into Consulting

WESTWOOD — In a decision that has sent shockwaves across the nation, a student devoid of any personality or soul has decided to pursue consulting. “It just felt like a no-brainer,” said fourth-year Business Economics major Noah Frens, whose recent internship at Deloitte took a sour turn when he was asked to share a “fun fact” about himself. “Ever since I was little, the only thing that interested me was telling other people what to do. It comforts me at night knowing that my sole life on this planet will be spent consulting others to do business better and stuff.” Readers of the Enabler will be joyous to hear that there are seven (7) different consulting clubs at UCLA to join.

About Milo Ellison 14 Articles
Hobby satirist turned published comedy extraordinaire.