WESTWOOD — After last week’s tumultuous events, fourth-year communications major Jim Boon just cannot seem to rally for his midterm on The Beatles. “I can’t decide what’s making it harder to study: TikTok or my brain hemorrhaging from that LAPD baton,” said Boon, whose professor offered a dimly lit testing room for concussed students. “The harsh, cold metal of a policeman’s baton really puts things in perspective. Now I can imagine what John Lennon went through a little bit, with, you know, the whole violence thing.” At press time, Boon was seen getting illegally detained on his way to his lecture about the Civil Rights Movement.
About Milo Ellison
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Hobby satirist turned published comedy extraordinaire.