Student Still Believes She Can Make A Difference

WESTWOOD–Citing her optimistic attitude and enthusiastic involvement in several clubs, sources confirmed that first year Kelsey Weaver still thinks she can make a significant impact on the seven billion one hundred twenty-five thousand people in the world. “I’m a Chemical Engineering major because I care about the environment and want to help develop new sources of renewable energy,” said Weaver, ten years before giving up and applying for an office job at China National Petroleum Corporation (CNCP). “My biggest dream is to see the world make the switch to one hundred percent clean energy by 2050.” At press time, Weaver was seen picking up litter off a beach that would later be devastated by a CNCP oil spill.

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About Melissa Peng 10 Articles
Melissa is an invaluable satirist and talented humor writer with the Enabler who has contributed much material, tangibly and intangibly, to reality, and surreality. Her secrets are hers to keep, I'm not about to start revealing scandalous information in a short bio, not gonna happen!! Why would you even think that? Rude.