WESTWOOD — A shallow excuse for a man was seen blindly following traffic guidelines Wednesday in the greater Westwood area. “I just don’t want to get hit by a car, man,” squeaked out some “third-year” “STEM” major “Todd Tyler,” who unsurprisingly also has a dumbass name. “I don’t know why you’re so mad. They’re literally there for everyone’s safety.” At press time, Mr. Todd “Hall Monitor” Tyler could probably be seen doing community service or donating to charity.
