SCHITHOLE, WV — The Westwood Enabler sat down with Donald Gleeson, self-proclaimed economist and avid spit-shouter while watching Fox News, who currently shares rent with a family of raccoons. “San Francisco is liberal hellhole! Homeless people taking over the streets, peeing everywhere, it’s disgusting!” said Gleeson, who sleeps in the same bed as the raccoons but claims his hookworm, tapeworm, and rabies infections are unrelated. “Schithole is a great town! We’ve got a Chevron, a Walmart, and an abandoned bridge where we ate paint chips as kids. We don’t take handouts like those hippies in California robbing the taxpayer for hormone pills and pot.” At press time, Gleeson was seen mouth-kissing one of the raccoons while watching Sean Hannity on his bean bag/bed hybrid.