Room Temperature Water Sends UCLA Student Into Anaphylactic Shock

young man in hospital

WESTWOOD Third-year English student Cody Carter was rushed to Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center on Friday after sipping room temperature water that he mistook for a more palatable beverage. From his bed in the intensive care unit, Carter told the Westwood Enabler that he had not inspected his drink prior to sipping – a small mistake that almost cost him his life. “I was expecting some boba, or coffee, or heck, even an iced water with lemon, but plain room temperature? That’s just straight up disgusting,” Carter commented with a slightly green complexion. “Right when that lukewarm water touched my palate, I knew something was wrong.”

Carter noticed immediate signs of a severe allergic reaction and was hurried to treatment. To combat the anaphylactic shock, emergency room specialist Dr. Jennifer Talm administered the standard 50 CCs of ice-cold LaCroix Pamplemousse to the man, thereby saving his life. When asked for comment, she stated that “this is a very common occurrence in the Westwood area,” even going so far as to call it an epidemic. “Many locals simply cannot stomach lukewarm filtered water or any form of tap water,” Talm continued. She affirms these substances can be lethal for Westwood residents, who should exercise extra caution when enjoying foods or beverages that may be understimulating.

Carter is expected to make a full recovery over a period of three to five weeks. At press time, he was seen refusing all hospital food other than a pudding cup.