Ronald Reagan Medical Center To Be Renamed After President Who Didn’t Suck

WESTWOOD — In light of new allegations of terrible-ness, both students and administrators at UCLA are proposing that the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center be renamed after a president who didn’t suck. “Though we express our deepest gratitude to Reagan for his tax cuts and his generous donation of AIDS cadavers, we just don’t think that he’s the right figure to represent the hospital now,” said Hinck Johnley, new Vice Chancellor of UCLA Health Sciences. “Instead, what about Baby Bush? I don’t remember anything bad happening during his administration.” At press time, President Reagan could not be reached for comment.

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