Rhythmic Sounds Coming From Roommate’s Bed

WESTWOOD — Late Wednesday evening, third year Electrical Engineering student Devin Thacker reported hearing loud, rhythmic sounds coming from the bed of his roommate, Tanner Erickson. “They started at 12:30 a.m. sharp, and sounded like someone was throwing hacky sacks against the wall,” Thacker said, noting that the noises began abruptly, and continued on steadily until mounting to a climax with the force of “a dozen stampeding stallions.” “It all ended at about 12:35, when he got up to throw something in the trash. I’m not certain what that was all about, but he did seem to be in a better mood the next morning.” At press time, Erickson was seen asking Haines if the popular dating app Tinder was “any good.”

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